Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Did I really just say that?

I'd feel confident in saying that I am a witty person. I'm good at scanning my mind for a joke and plugging it in at a moment's notice. Now granted they're not always funny, but my mind is still running around piecing together jokes and throwing them out as fast as my mouth can keep up. The poor little oompa loompas in my brain really have to scramble sometimes.

Now this ability to be quick witted is helpful for making jokes (which is oh-so-productive), and also for selling and needing to think on my feet. It's usually useful, emphasis on usually. Every now and then those oompa loompas get going too fast and grab the wrong words or the wrong joke, and I've mistakenly learned to trust them enough to spit out whatever they throw into the queue.

Can you see where this is going? I think you think you can, but you'll never guess what I actually said. Oh gosh, so embarrassing.

Now you know that I work in sales. I sell software, and all of my selling is done via webinars. This means my clients never see me and I get to wear jeans and a t-shirt to work every day. This also means that because I never actually meet the people I am selling to, I need to build those relationships via phone and email. Every time I am on a call I do my best to make friends with them- asking them to tell me about themselves, laughing and joking, you know, all that relationship-building stuff. Most of the time this works great, in no time at all we're besties and making plans to get mani-pedi's next time they are in town.

Let's rewind to a few weeks ago. I was doing a webinar for a couple of guys that work for a company out in New York. They were a lot of fun, really loud and really funny. I got into a good groove with them, and found my normal "professional speak only" filter coming down. At one point they expressed how much easier something was going to be in our system. I said something like "Using this system is going to be like a dream for you!". He replied in the affirmative. I bantered back with "That's what we're in the business of over here, making dreams come true. Just call us the Make a Wish foundation!".

Oh. My. Gosh.


That's it oompa loompas, you're fired. Next time pick disneyland, utopia, heck- I'd take walmart. Something that doesn't make me sound like I'm pimping out a charity foundation. I just compared my software to helping children who are dying of cancer. It's official, I am a horrible person.

The conversation continued like this:

*crickets chirping

Me: *clears throat

...and if you look at this feature right here you will see this great tool for blah blah blah

They were kind enough not to call me out on it, but that definitely made for my awkward moment of the day. I should send them an apology gift basket or something.

Or maybe I should just make a donation to the Make a Wish foundation in their honor.


  1. I would read these all day. err could... should? yeah should....

  2. Haha! Weston that made my day. You definitely should read them all day.

  3. I love stick figure oompaloompas....

  4. Shelly! haha I love reading your blog! You have such a talent for writing and you're hilarious! :)

  5. I was just wondering today, Are stick oompaloompas shorter than regular stick people?

    The answer is yes.