Monday, November 21, 2011

The crush cycle of a female

I'm sure you ladies can relate.

Phase One
You're talking to a guy, he says/does something attractive/clever/awesome/funny/impressive/sweet and you realize that a crush has sparked. You already thought he was pretty good looking, but certainly not enough to find your thoughts wandering to him all day long like they do now. There are lots of butterflies involved in this stage. Maybe some nervous sweating too. 

Phase Two
You've run into him several times now (this usually happens when they are in your ward or you have several mutual friends) and the crush is gradually building. He makes you stumble over your words and you kick yourself after every interaction for looking so much less cool than you want him to think you are. Sometimes you think he's flirting with you but you're too scatterbrained around him to be sure. 

Phase Three
Now your stubbornness kicks in. This stupid boy (I only call him stupid because I'm trying to justify my soon-to-be hardheaded actions) has not gotten your number/asked you out/done anything to make you sure that he likes you back. You decide you are DONE liking him, you're just wasting energy in liking someone when it's not going anywhere. Now you resort to going out of your way to seem disinterested, you never know if he picked up on your practically non existent attempts to convey your interest, and we would hate to feel vulnerable. You might call this the "pouting phase".

Phase Four
Your feeble attempt at being mad at him (he has no idea) for no reason (this is productive yeah?) is gradually weakening. After all, he's so attractive/clever/awesome/funny/impressive/sweet and you just don't have a defense for that kind of great guy. You've managed to convince yourself that you only view him as a friend, and that the crush is SO totally done with. You are healthy and back to normal, mostly. You return to your typically fun and charming self. 

Phase Five
You are so fun and normal again that this guy is back to striking up conversations with you. Oh no. Uh oh. He just did something attractive/clever/awesome/funny/impressive/sweet again. !%@#$!@#$!#&%$@!!

And we're back to Phase One. 


  1. Ha ha Shelly you're hilarious!!! And its sooo totally true!! Hope you and Michelle are still having a good time down in provo!

  2. Holy crap, this is COMPLETELY accurate. Well done, dude.

  3. As always, LOVE the pictures that accompany the blog (since I'm not a reader) haha

  4. Dear Madam,
    I have a piece of advice to ask of you, and if it is at all possible, please email me at This is a serious piece of advice, and for some reason, I feel that you are the only one who can answer my question. P.S. Love the blog.