Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Dating is like basketball

I have noticed that guys love sports analogies, so I am going to liken the dating game to a basketball game. It will be a little bit of a stretch, but basically, dating is like playing a one-on-one basketball game (except you can have any number of people playing against you). You want to score as many points as possible, and we all know that the best defense is a good offense. 

Here are some things that I have noticed score you points- everything from free throws to Jimmer-range three's. These are tips that you can start using as soon as you decide that you like a young lady and are officially stepping onto the court. 

Free throw (One Point and it's a little pitiful if you miss it)
  • Opening her door anytime you can- to the car, entering a building, a room- this should become second nature for you. It's classic, respectful, gentlemanly, and she notices. I promise. 
  • Be on time for any set plans. If something really crazy came up that's alright, but if it's at all avoidable (i.e. getting lost, not planning your schedule well enough), well, that's just like missing a free throw.
  • When you're on a date and the bill comes, pick it up quickly. Don't make her stress about whether or not she should offer to split it or pay or anything like that. Also, try to avoid letting her see the total (discretely), it's uncomfortable to know exactly how much is being spent on you. 


Layup (Two Points and super easy when you're near "the basket")
  • Tell her that she looks nice, or you like her outfit, or her hair.  Tell her that you liked her comment in class, or that you love her blog (wink-wink), or anything that shows you are noticing her in a positive way. Women thrive on verbal validation, we do it to each other all the time and you can assume that we don't "just know" that you think we're super. 
  • Say hello if you haven't seen her around before, it might be scary but it's totally flattering. Even if you just lean over in your chair and introduce yourself, you are making an effort to know her. It also makes her feel like you think she's pretty.

Two-point field goal (Still two points but we're more impressed than with a layup)
  • Make the effort to reach out to her. Maybe you are across the room and you come up to talk to her. Maybe you are in a room with several cute girls but you're willing to monopolize your attention on her for a while. This is you telling her that she is more special to you than all the other girls.
  • Call her on the phone. Specifically when you already have her number (i.e. ward directory), or didn't get it with it the presumption that you would ask her out. Invite her to your party, have her come over to watch a basketball game, call with a question you came up with about class/church/something relevant. We like that you're finding excuses to call us. 
  • Good communication prior to a date. If you've asked her out, call or text a couple of days before to confirm, let her know if she should expect to be fed, give her an idea of what to wear (should we strap on tennis shoes or stilettos?). 
Three-point field goal (When guys do these things I want to yell "Go Team!")
  • Call and ask her out within two days of getting the number. BOOM. Yes. Even if she doesn't like you, she doesn't have to stress over when you might ask her, if she should act like she likes you in the meantime, etc. It's just better all around, and it will increase your chances of her liking you if she was more neutral before. Love this. 

  • Don't be afraid to communicate interest. You do want to be careful not to go overboard though. You're not professing your love here, or bothering her every minute of the day, but you are clearly interested and pursuing her. Do simple things like sending a text message the night you get her number telling her that you enjoyed meeting her, or with something funny that just happened that reminded you of your conversation with her. These things tell us that you are thinking about us, and wanting more interaction with us, and that makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside.
  • Momentum. Quick follow up to a date is great, it keeps excitement and adrenaline going. It's not about doing anything big, but consistency. This is great when you can tell the date went well, especially if she does something like send you a post-date text. She does that when she would like to see you again, so don't leave her sweating. (p.s. stressing that the guy doesn't like you takes the average female about 12.67 hours.)
Three-point from Jimmer Range (When you do these things I could just kiss your face)
I think that the things that both win points and impress the heck out of women, are you showing us that you are genuinely good person. These tell us that you would treat us well forever, and not just for the first five dates. The other point generators function based on you making us feel good, whereas these things make us think you are real catch!
  • Immediately start washing the dishes after a meal. Whether I cooked it, or someone else, just get up and start washing the dishes and it makes you look like a freakin' all star. Granted I might get a little more excited than most girls about a guy that washes the dishes, but we all love it.
  • Help people, all around you. Pick up someone's dropped books, help stack chairs at the end of a meeting, help someone carry something heavy. Oo la la, when service looks like it's a knee-jerk reaction for you, it melts us. 
  • Play with kids. This is about the most endearing thing ever. Do yourself a favor and take your nieces and nephews everywhere with you. 

I hope this world class coaching was helpful, because that was a much longer post than I originally anticipated. For this kind of top notch counsel, I usually charge by the hour!

Really though, I do, I should blog about that next time. 

34 comments:

  1. Oh dishes, it seriously seals the deal! I will train my boys from a very young age...

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  4. Of course, the analogy assumes that the girl has some interest in the man in the first place. Many of us point earners end up with lots of points and still lose because the friend zone defense is impossible to beat.

    John

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