Thursday, March 1, 2012

The argument for dating a shorter man

The absolute quickest way that I filter through men that I might be interested in is by height. I love me a tall man. When you spend 96.4% of your life taller than everyone around you, it is a pretty awesome thing when someone makes you feel small, more specifically when he's handsome and hugging you. That being said... boy, does that narrow down the dating pool a TON. Apparently, as of late, I have seemed both extra fantastic and extra tall, because I have gotten several comments like "If I was only two/three/four/eight inches taller; I would totally date you". At first it was strictly flattering, but then I started to experience a hint of frustration. Really? The only reason we can't date is because of my height?

It was at the moment that I realized that I was as much of a culprit as any of them, I am a heightist! (Urban Dictionary defines this as one who discriminates based on height).

Since coming to this realization, I have spent the last couple of days attempting to reason myself into the idea of dating shorter men, or at least being willing to consider it. Here are a few of the key arguments for why this would be a good idea for me to take for a test drive.

#1. Our children will thank us.

As much as I love being tall (most of the time), it has provided me many challenges in life, and has become a very defining characteristic for me. Dating has certainly been one of the biggest hurdles. As much as being a tall woman may seem like a glorious thing, that kind of glory really caps out around 5'10" or so. When you cruise up over 6 feet, it starts to go in the other direction. Now for the short man, poor little guy, you know there's no way he's ever going to get chicks like a six footer does. In doing my research for this post, I found a height predictor. Yeah alright, maybe that's a little weird that I did this, but here is a chart that shows the estimated height of children that I would produce with a shorter man (remember I'm 6'1''):
Granted this is only a predictor, but those are some pretty promising looking heights! Totally normal and non-disadvantaging for any children involved. Apparently this post will be a convincing argument for both parties because I'm sure nearly every short guy would love to gift his sons a little bit of extra height. Turns out, my genetics are very accommodating for that.

...Sorry that I just got so creepy.

#2. Cost Savings

I have some big boys for brothers, and let me tell you, they can pack the food down. Almost every tall man I know can easily eat three times as much as I do, and that means a TON of groceries. The shorter the man, the less fuel you need to keep him going. Keeping with the creepy trend of discussing our future children, a taller man means taller kids which mean more groceries multiplied by the number of kids we have. Now, maybe this can be offset by the research that shows that taller people make more money, but at the very least, it means a lot less cooking for me. Even though I love to cook, it could certainly kill that joy to have to make eight tons of food every day. Allow me to illustrate this comparison:

If love were purely a matter of economics the decision would be pretty clear. That's got to be hundreds, heck probably thousands of dollars per year of savings!

#3. How long will it really feel noticeable?

 I have plenty of short friends. My best friends growing up were significantly shorter than me, and we pretty much spent every waking moment together. After a while it wasn't something I noticed, because it was just the way things were. I've also dated shorter guys before, not significantly shorter, but a good 3-4 inches. After a couple of months, you have adjusted to it, and stop thinking about it. Girls also have this neat ability to develop attraction for someone- nearly every guy that I've dated has become more and more attractive to me over that time, so it only serves to reason that the same would happen with a shorter guy. Eventually, if everything else is there, I'll still think he's hot stuff. Maybe I'll even develop a special fondness for the top of his head, you know, the part of him I have the best view of.

#4. His friends will think he's got mad game.

When people see a couple that they don't understand from the get-go, like a short guy with a tall girl, they immediately start to reason through the possibilities of how it happened. They'll have no choice but to assume that he has some pretty sweeeet game for him to be able to snag a taller woman, because being a short man can kill your dating game faster than just about anything. Let's be honest, there's something sort of trophy-esque about proudly escorting your tall (model height, wink-wink) woman out on a date. Now it's not just cool for him, it would certainly be a delight for me to know that I can make a guy feel like he is the cat's pajamas just by going out on the town with him.

#5. You will forever have a great conversation starter.

This ties into point number four, because people are already curious to hear the "how you met" stories, and they'll be even more curious to know the details on how that guy scored her. As you can tell by the fact that I've had to put together this post, it certainly would take a fair amount of persistence and persuasion for me to decide that I'll sacrifice (practically guaranteed) basketball scholarships for my kids. What that persistence would translate into, would be an excellent story I'm sure. We'll be at a party and I'll say something like "I always swore I would marry a tall man!", and he'll banter back with "I always knew I could get her to lower her standards for me, get it? L-o-w-e-r?".

Riotous laughter would then commence.


So there you have it. Five sound arguments for why I can no longer allow myself to be a heightist, therefore, I am now declaring for all who are in the sound of my voice:

I will no longer exclude men from my dating pool strictly because of height. 

*Update 02/14/2013: When I wrote this post I don't know that I believed much would change, but I am currently engaged to a man six inches shorter than me, and it is wonderful! Read the story of how we started dating here